A significant number of people either run businesses with their spouses or are considering doing so. While there are certainly advantages to partnering with the person whom you most trust and love, Couple-Entrepreneurship creates many serious challenges; the blending of business and personal roles combined with the blurring of traditional work-life boundaries can generate all sorts of complex business, emotional, and familial issues.

Recently, I hosted for the New York chapter of the Entrepreneurs’ Organization the first of a series of special events specifically geared towards couples who have built, and presently run, businesses together. The venue provided a forum for people to share experiences and advice; despite the couples operating a wide range of different businesses spread across verticals and market segments, the challenges faced by nearly all of the attendees shared similar underpinnings.

Below I share some nuggets of experience – practical already-tested wisdom – from some of the participants as well as from an expert in the field whom I have had the pleasure of meeting in preparation for this ongoing series of events. I also recommend that entrepreneurs check out the Entrepreneurs’ Organization – a local chapter may be running many great events closer to your own neighborhood.

  • “We found that it was important to set boundaries. To the extent possible, we keep the work stuff at work and the home stuff at home. Also, respect and communication are vital. There’s no downside to overcommunication.” — Dave Kerpen, CEO of Likeable Local, who founded and built Likeable Media with his wife, Carrie Kerpen
  • “Our biggest challenges have arisen when we have had different goals that we had not shared with one another. There were some key moments in the early phases of our business during which we would have a hard time agreeing on the next step, and when we sat down and took the time to talk about the big picture, we realized that the lack of agreement was because we were not on the same page in terms of our respective visions for the business. We also came to understand that this difference in perspectives was the ultimate source of tension in everyday disagreements. As soon as we realized that, we were able to brainstorm and create a vision about which we were both excited; doing so made it much easier to make decisions together moving forward.” – Pia Silva, who built and runs branding studio, Worstofall Design, with her husband, Steve Wasterval
  • “We started our business three months after we got married, and have been working together for 29 years. What makes it work? We set boundaries between personal life and business life, and respect them. We even have an agreed upon “shut off switch” if conversation is crossing the agreed boundaries. You might call it the “Emergency Power Off!” If one person doesn’t want to talk business – nobody talks business.”– Laura Donelan, CEO of TELECOM Infrastructure Corp, which she built and runs with her husband, Ed.
  • “Our success lies in respecting one another’s “super powers” and working within those zones as often as possible. Life is better working with my wife; we have more to celebrate about and less to explain when things are challenging.” – Steve Distante, who runs Vanderbilt Financial Group with his wife, Heidi.
  • “As a result of working together, we learned more about each other’s strengths and weaknesses. We learned to support each other more instead of tearing each other down because we realized that although each of us had complimentary, unique skills that contributed to the business, neither of us could do everything that was required to be successful. Although my husband and I each own our own separate businesses now, the experience of working together ended up being great for our relationship.” Trisha Harp, Founder and CEO of the Harp Family Institute (which researches entrepreneurship and relationships), who previously ran VenJuvo with her husband, Derek Harp.

And, having built a business with my wife, I’ll add: “Working together gave us the ability to know one another from a different perspective, and deepened our appreciation for each other’s skills and talents. Time management, of course, became a critical skill. There were times that despite our promises to the contrary, business intruded on personal time. But we balanced that out by leveraging the flexibility offered by working together in an entrepreneurial environment — we worked long hours, but going on a date during lunch was a possibility that most people don’t get to enjoy.”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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